Paid In Full

“If you have only one smile in you give, give it to the people you love.” 

~ Maya Angelou

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”

~ Charles M. Schulz

One day a little boy found his mother in the kitchen fixing dinner and slipped her a piece of paper. She dried her hands on her apron, and took a minute to read it. This is what it said:

For mowing the lawn: $2.00
For cleaning my room this week: $2.00 For going to the store for you: $1.00 Baby-sitting my brother while you were out: $2.00 Emptying the Garbage: $1.00 For getting good grades on my report card: $5.00 For raking the yard and picking it up: $2.00Total owed: $15.00
For every night I stayed up with you when you were upset or sick, held you and prayed for you: No Charge
For all the difficult times and my tears: No Charge
For all the nights I worried about your future and what was ahead: No Charge
For your shelter, food, clothing, toys and even wiping your nose: No Charge

When the mother was finished reading the note, she stood there and looked at him. He could see memories of these events flashing through her mind. She picked up a pen and pad of paper and wrote the following:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside of me: No Charge

She said, "Son, when I add up all of the cost, my love for you is No Charge."

After the boy finished reading his mother's note, big tears welled up in his eyes. He looked straight at his mother and said. "Mom, I sure do love you." The son then took the pen and his mother's note and wrote in big words, "PAID IN FULL."

“PAID IN FULL” aren’t those the greatest words? Don’t we all strive to hear that our debts are paid in full? Sometimes we may act like the little boy and only think of the things that WE give in our relationships and in our businesses. We are so concerned in our lives with what WE are doing and what WE are getting and often don’t think of the sacrifices others make for us so that we may be happy and succeed in life.

There is nothing greater than a mother’s love; and nothing greater than unconditional love from a family member or true friend. I hope you have these types of relationships in your life. I hope you are richer than you could ever imagine and I hope you aren’t keeping “score” of what you are doing for others but rather I hope you are making note of what others have done for you so that you can give someone the peace and joy of knowing their bill has been “PAID IN FULL”.

As Valentines approaches, I hope you will be able to embrace the true spirit of Valentine’s Day, not gorging yourself with chocolate and roses but bringing happiness and hope to others. Valentine’s Day is often thought of as a day to celebrate love between two people. More importantly than that, it is a day to celebrate love for your fellow man. We all know someone who needs to feel the warmth and love of a friend. Be that friend. Tell someone you care about them. Tell someone you are thinking of them and give them a reason to know that their debts have been “Paid in Full”. If you do, you will be much richer than any bill you can issue and I know our community will be better because of it.

P.S. – If you haven’t done so, now is a great time to go out and shop with our local retailers to pick up those last minute Valentines. Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you forget!

Stop Eating Sugar

“Good resolutions are like babies crying in church. They should be carried out immediately.” 

~ Charles M. Sheldon

Happy New Year! I hope 2013 has started off on the right foot for you. I am sure by now many of you are well on your way to completing your first month of holding fast to your New Year’s resolution. Others of you are thinking you’ve only missed a hand full of days and you still have time to get back on track and keep your resolution throughout the rest of the year. Still, others of you have already given up on making a “major” change in your lives and resorted back to the same ole, same ole.

I am not one to make resolutions. I never keep them. I also have never been a fan of making a new “plan” each year that will only last 365 days. If I want to make a change, I want it to last much, much longer.

I am not sure where I picked up the notion, but I have always regarded the word and idea of a resolution as being permanent. Just as the founding fathers “resolved” to form a new union, a new order and a new America; to me, a resolution should be a change that will stand the test of time.

Dictionary.com defines a resolution as, “theactofresolvingordetermininguponanactionorcourseofaction,method,procedure,etc.” It’s a plan of action that should take a long time. It should be a principle for the duration of your course. It’s not just something you say, it is something you DO. It is something that has meaning and compels you to make a permanent change.

According to Wikipedia, people have been making resolutions at the beginning of the New Year almost since the dawn of time.

The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.

The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named.

In the Medieval era, the knights took the "peacock vow" (a pledge of nine historical, scriptural and legendary personages to personify the ideals of chivalry) at the end of the Christmas season each year.

Many Christians attended “watch nightservices”, (a late New Year’s Eve church service which was an opportunity for Christians to review the year that had passed and make confession, and then prepare for the year ahead by praying and resolving with resolutions).

There are other religious parallels to this tradition. During Judaism's New Year, Rosh Hashanah, through the High Holidays and culminating in Yom Kippur, one is to reflect upon one's wrongdoings over the year and both seek and offer forgiveness.

People may act similarly during the Catholic fasting period of Lent, though the motive behind this holiday is more of sacrifice than of responsibility, in fact the practice of New Year's resolutions partially came from the Lenten sacrifices. The concept, regardless of creed, is to reflect upon improvement annually.

I am all for self-improvement, but I think it should be a result of mental and emotional reflection, not just because a giant crystal ball dropped in New York (or a Moon Pie, Catfish, or what have you).

As I have been thinking of New Year’s resolutions, I am reminded of a story I once heard about a great leader, Mahatma Gandhi. Not only was he a great leader because of what he said, he was a great leader because of what he did. His actions followed his words.

The story goes something like this:

In the 1930's there was a young boy who had become addicted to and obsessed with eating sugar. His mother decided to get help and took the long and hot journey with her son walking many miles and hours under the scorching sun. 

She finally reached Gandhi and asked him to tell her son to stop eating sugar; it wasn't good for his health. Gandhi replied, "I cannot tell him that. But you may bring him back in a few weeks and then I will talk to him." The mother was confused and upset and took the boy home.

Two weeks later she came back. This time Gandhi looked directly at the boy and said "Boy, you should stop eating sugar. It is not good for your health." The boy nodded his head and promised he wouldn't. The boy’s mother was puzzled. She asked "Why didn't you tell him that two weeks ago when I brought him here to see you?"

Gandhi smiled and said "Mother, two weeks ago I was eating a lot of sugar myself."

This isn’t exactly a New Year’s resolution, but the point is the same. Gandhi knew his own action of eating a lot of sugar was bad for his health. But, he couldn’t just tell the boy to resolve to do better. Gandhi knew that he too had to make the life-changing decision to change his own habits so that what he said would be of more merit because of his actions.

How closely does what you say as a leader in our community align with what you do? Have you resolved to do something you don’t think you can follow through? Are others watching with anticipation to see if you drop your New Year’s resolution so that they too can drop theirs? What about members of your family, your church or you civic club?

My hope for Jones County in 2013 is that we all eat a little less, exercise more, stop drinking and smoking so much, save some money, do kind deeds, spend more time with our friends and families and get better organized; through all of these resolutions and the host of others that I am certain you will all keep, I pray that our community will be better because of it.

May we all be better leaders as we lead by example this coming year. 

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* This article was originally printed in the Sunday, January 13, 2013 issue
 of The Chronicle's "Planting Seeds" column.