A Leader That's the Real McCoy

"American families have always shown remarkable resiliency, or flexible adjustment to natural, economic, and social challenges. Their strengths resemble the elasticity of a spider web, a seagull's skillful flow with the wind, the regenerating power of perennial grasses, the cooperation of an ant colony, and the persistence of a stream carving canyon rocks. These are not the strengths of fixed monuments but living organisms. This resilience is not measured by wealth, muscle or efficiency but by creativity, unity, and hope. Cultivating these family strengths is critical to a thriving human community."

~ Ben Silliman

I had a rare opportunity this past weekend. Thanks to the previous holiday weekend, I was able to accomplish many of my "to-dos" and so this past weekend I didn't have too much on my plate to get done around the house. I was able to spend much of my time with Rebekah and Ethan, not out in the yard or in my shop.

Rebekah and I got to do something together we haven't done in a long time. We got to sit down and watch TV... during the daytime... and it was actual people, not cartoons or animated dancing aliens or dinosaurs.... actual people.

It was great because we missed the original airing of the History Channel's three part miniseries "Hatfields & McCoys". We had it on DVR and were able to watch much of it all at once while Ethan was napping.

Neither of us knew much about the story behind the legend although we did have some working knowledge of the feud. We both grew up in families where our parents were raised on Westerns and from time to time if we catch a good one on TV we'll watch too.

The miniseries was beautifully done. The actors were well cast and at one point I commented to Rebekah that I had forgotten that it was Kevin Costner and Bill Paxton who were the lead actors.

As most of you know I am a history nut and what I like about the way the History Channel put together this miniseries is that it paints a picture for you of the story behind the "facts". It gives you a glimpse into the people who were living the history as they were making it.

In an ironic turn of events, Rebekah and I attended a wedding for her cousin Benton in New Hebron. The wedding was in an old country church and the reception was held at Bethany's (the bride) family's house. Everything was beautiful. The setting could not have been more perfect. It was a blessing to be a witness to their marriage and start of a new chapter in their lives together. It was also great to see most of Rebekah's family that I haven't seen since Christmas.

While sitting in the pews waiting for the ceremony to begin, I couldn't help but play the story of the Hatfields and McCoys over in my head. (I probably shouldn't have watched it up to the minute we had to leave.) What was amazing to me was at the wedding we were witnessing two families become one. Watching two individuals as friends, become more than friends in the eyes of the Church and all the witnesses present. In my head I was thinking, "What on earth could make a family want to tear this apart?"

Obviously I know the story of the Hatfields and McCoys was much more than just two families who couldn't get along. I also know from some of the other documentaries that it is more than just a fight over a pig.

I came to the realization that what led the Hatfields and McCoys toward their path of feuding, and what lead Benton and Bethany toward their path of marriage was their family; more specifically the leadership of their families.

Our families are as unique and rare as snowflakes. Each family has different values, morals, and beliefs. Our families have histories and events which meld the perceptions and paradigms of the generations to follow. Our families have scholars, historians, businessmen, losers, bruisers, abusers, mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers. Our families are made up of all kinds of individuals but what guides and directs the destiny of our family is the belief and desires of its leadership.

You can look at any family, whether you think they are good or bad and you can just about always trace that family's path back to one or two individuals who set the course for the future generation's success or failure. Likewise, if a family makes a turn in course, it is probably because the desires of one or two individuals who have the ability to influence and lead the others.

Like the leadership needed to guide the future direction of a family for generations to come, our communities also need strong leadership. Our communities need leadership from influential individuals. Our communities need leadership from great visionaries, individuals with great passion and leaders with great charisma.

We have these leaders in Jones County. If you know of someone who would benefit from developing their leadership skills and learning more about our community and how they can become involved in shaping our history for future generations, I encourage you to nominate them for the 2013 class of Leadership Jones County.

Leadership Jones County is a great way to become involved in your community and to learn how you can give back to those who helped lead our community to where we are today. I encourage you to help grow our community and equip its next class of emerging leaders.

Larkin