Thursday, November 15, 2012

Seek First To Understand

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.”

~ Anonymous

Earlier this week I was graciously invited to attend lunch and present to the Ellisville Lions Club. I always enjoy getting out and meeting with our civic clubs and reminding them of all the wonderful things happening in our community. (Shameless plug, I'm available if you need someone to speak for your civic club.) I love to hear it when they say, "Wow! I had no idea we had that much going for us".

As I was preparing to give my usual updates of business openings, upcoming events and reports of how our leadership programs and other initiatives are doing, I ran across a leadership story that I had once read. It is a story I use sometimes with our leadership programs to help them remember it is better to take a moment and understand the whole situation before offering solutions; something we all need to be reminded of from time to time.

(As I told the Lions, I hope you all can get the meaning of the message, but hope none of you can truly relate.)The story goes something like this:

One day a little old and very cute couple walked into the local fast food restaurant. The little old man went up to the counter and ordered their food. He brought back to the table a hamburger, a small amount of fries and a drink.

Carefully he sliced the hamburger in two and then neatly divided the fries into two small piles. He sipped the drink and then passed it to his wife. She took a sip and passed it back.

A younger man at a nearby table observed this couple and began to feel sorry for them. He offered to buy them another meal, but the old man respectfully declined saying that they were used to sharing everything.

The old man began to eat his food while his wife sat still, not eating. The young man continued to watch the old couple feeling there was something he should be doing to help. As the old man finished his half of the burger and fries, the old lady still had not started eating hers.

The young man couldn't take it anymore. He asked, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating?" The old lady looked up and politely said, pointing to the old man, "I'm waiting on the teeth."

I hope you're not waiting on your teeth! You might have the same initial reaction my wife did when I shared this story with her. She laughed and then with a disgusted look on her face said, "Eww, Gross!"

How many times are things not as they appear? Sometimes we are eager to help. We want to help people when they are hurting. We want to do good for others. Sometimes we have to understand what the whole situation is before we do anything. Sometimes, no matter how effective our solution, if the people we are helping don't have their teeth, our help is no good to them.

I urge you to help others. I encourage you, as we enter this time of Thanksgiving and season of joyful giving, that you reach out to those in need. Give and rejoice freely. Give with a generous heart, but realize that you must seek to understand other's situation before you can effectively help them change their situation.

However you give back this holiday season and into the New Year do so with understanding and love. If you do, I know our community will be better off because of it!

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving filled with friends, family and loved ones as you travel over the river and through the woods!

Larkin
This story is from Mike Rogers at teamworkandleadership

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