Sunday, June 16, 2013

Words of Wisdom

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
~Mark Twain
Happy Father’s Day! I hope you are having a great day enjoying friends, family and the fathers in your life. If you are fortunate enough to still have your father in your life, make sure you tell them just how important they are to you.
Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, Grandparent’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Boss’ Day and the like are always difficult days for me. They are supposed to be the one day of the year when you remember to tell that special person just how important they are to you.
Well… I just wasn’t raised that way. I was taught you tell the ones you love just how much they mean to you as often as you can because we never know how long we have to share together.
This has been a great philosophy for me and served me well over the years as I have lost friends and loved ones along the way. I hope my love and respect for my friends and family never goes unspoken.
As I have been preparing for this Father’s Day I have thought a lot about my dad. I know I write a lot about my family but it is because we have always been so close. Even now I speak with my parents almost daily. They always know what is going on with Ethan and they usually know what Rebekah and I are up to. I still use them for sounding boards of ideas of things I am thinking of pursuing and I am always looking to them for advice; especially from my dad.
I think daddy really likes giving advice, although he never just comes out and says what is on his mind. Some of my favorites he has given me over the years are: “Bad company corrupts good morals”, “Lay down with the dogs and you wake up with fleas”, “Nothing good happens after midnight” – (and for my family members who will read this story online, you don’t need to comment on that story), “You can’t soar with the eagles if you stay out with the owls”, “Keep it between the ditches” and many, many more.

My favorite advice I’ve gotten from my dad was the day we had “The Talk”. We were riding back to town from our cabin across the levee on the river. He said, “I want to talk to you about something” – as he sometimes did. I said, “Okay”. He turned the radio down and said, “Son, keep your pencil in your pocket.” There was a moment of silence. Then he said, “You understand?” I said “Yes sir” he turned up the radio and we never spoke about it again. – Of course now we laugh about it all the time.
Fathers are good for giving advice, they are good for teaching life lessons and they are good for helping us grow to better ourselves and those around us. As I am preparing to raise two little boys in the coming weeks (Noah is expected to arrive in July), I read a lot of articles and blogs online to help me be a better father and raise our children the way Rebekah and I were raised. I heard this great story the other day. I hope it helps you too.
There once was a little boy who had a short temper. His father decided to teach him a lesson by giving him a bag of nails and telling him that every time he lost his temper he was required to hammer one nail into the backyard fence.

Over the next several weeks the little boy had driven in 47 nails! As the weeks progressed he was driving in fewer and fewer nails as he learned to control his temper.

Eventually the boy had learned how to control his temper most of the time. His father was proud and suggested that he pull out one nail for every day that he had completely controlled his temper.

Many days had passed when the boy went to tell his father that all of the nails were gone.
The wise father took his son by the hand and they walked to the fence. He said, “Great job son, you have done really well, and I am very proud of you! But I want you to notice the holes. This fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, you leave a scar just like you have left in this fence.”

From that day forward the boy was determined never to lose his temper again.
Great fathers know how to allow us to learn without having to spell out everything we need to hear. Just like the lesson this little boy learned from his father, I have learned many lessons from my father. I am still learning from him.

I sincerely hope that you have a father or a father figure in your life who constantly challenges you, loves you and teaches you. If you are the result of having a father teach you to be a better person, repay the favor. Teach your children, teach the kids in your neighborhood, teach the kids in your church and in your community. Let’s be a community of positive role models who build each other up and grow the next generation better. I am sure that if you take the time to invest in others, our whole community will be better because of it! I know it will!


Love you pop!

---* This article was originally printed in the Sunday, June 16, 2013 issue of The Chronicle's "Planting Seeds" column.

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