Hands of Grace

“Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.”

~ William Arthur Ward 

I was recently helping a friend search for and apply to several different job opportunities. As I was helping her she asked why I am so passionate about my job and being involved in the community and giving back. As I was giving her my answer, I couldn't help but think of this story and all the sacrifices my own parents made to afford my education in and out of the classroom.

“A young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the initial interview, and went on to meet the director for the final interview. The director discovered from his resume that the youth's academic achievements were excellent. He asked, ‘Did you obtain any scholarships in school?’ the youth answered ‘no’. The director asked, ‘Was it your father who paid for your school fees?’ The youth replied, ‘My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.’ The director asked, ‘Where did your mother work?’ ‘My mother worked as clothes cleaner’, he replied.

The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect. ‘Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?’, questioned the director. ‘Never’, replied the youth, ‘my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Besides, my mother can wash clothes faster than me’.

The director said, ‘I have a request. When you go home today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me first thing tomorrow morning.’

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high but was confused by the director’s request. When he went home, he asked his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. A tear fell as he did. It was the first time he noticed his mother's hands were so wrinkled and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother winced when he touched them.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay his school fees. The bruises on his mother's hands were the price she was willing to pay for his education, his school activities and his future. After cleaning his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. That night, the mother and son talked for a very long time.

The next morning, the youth went to the director's office. The director noticed the tears in the young man's eyes, when he asked: ‘Can you tell me what have you done and learned in your house?’ The young man answered,’ I cleaned my mother's hands and I also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes for her.’ ‘I know now what appreciation is’, he continued, ‘Without my mother, I would not be who I am today. By helping my mother, only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done on your own. I have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping one’s family.’

The director said, ‘This is what I am looking for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life.’ ‘You are hired.’”

I too know what it is like to have parents to work hard with their hands to provide for their children’s future. I hope to be able to look back over my children’s lives one day and know that I did all I could to provide and give them every opportunity to succeed.

Many in our community are the same way. I see you as you are dropping your kids off at school each morning. I see you as you cheer your little ones on at the ball field and I see the numerous parents who are setting examples for our next generations of leaders. I see how involved you are in our community and how you involve your children too.

I want to encourage you to be involved in the future of your kids, be involved in the betterment of all the kids in your neighborhood and celebrate their successes. At the Chamber we celebrate a lot of successes. We have a lot of ways to be involved in the future of our community and I welcome you to join us as we work to provide a bright future for the next generation! Let’s Celebrate all our community is and all we can be!

To all the students, parents, teachers and administrators starting back to school, Good Luck! We’re proud of you! We want to celebrate your success and hope you have a great year!

---

* This article was originally printed in the Sunday, August 18, 2013 issue
 of The Chronicle's "Planting Seeds" column.

A Field of Dreams

“We just don't recognize life's most significant moments while they're happening. Back then I thought, ‘Well, there'll be other days’. I didn't realize that that was the only day.”

~Archie Graham (Burt Lancaster) in Field of Dreams - 1989

Okay, big surprise. I am a dude who likes baseball. More specifically I like baseball movies. Even more specific than that, two of my all time favorite movies are “Field of Dreams” and “For Love of the Game”. I think Kevin Costner missed his calling in making movies and should have been a baseball player – not really.

There is something about baseball that is just so romantic, manly and American. It is hard to put into words but the heat of the summer, the smell of the leather, the grit of the dirt in your hands and the sounds of a wooden bat cracking is just magical. It reminds me of my childhood summers.

If you are like me and you love the game too, we have an excellent opportunity coming up to see some great baseball. In just a little over a week, Laurel and Jones County will have tons of people, players and professionals descending on us to enjoy the Dixie Youth World Series for the second time!

In all of those players, coaches, parents and grandparents coming in, it is obvious to see that not everyone will be spending 24/7 at the ball field. Some of them will be coming to eat in our restaurants. Some will be coming to Wal-Mart, sporting goods stores, the mall and grocery stores to pick up last minutes items or things they forgot to bring on their trip. Some will just need a break and will be looking for things to do outside of baseball.

I say all of this not to get your blood boiling that the streets might be a little more crowded for a week, not to mention that the drive through lines will be a little longer and not make you realize services may be a little slower; but to encourage you to seize this opportunity.

In recruiting we have to go out to people to tell them all the great things about our community. It’s not often that we have thousands of captive audience members come to us and our community to see its beauty and experience our southern hospitality.

I want to encourage you that as our visitors and guests come to town, be conscious to be a little friendlier; be a little more patient and above all, sell, sell, sell! Tell people about why Jones County is a great place to live. Tell them about our world class museums and attractions. Tell them about our thriving economy. Tell them about our history and heritage. Tell them about our wonderful neighborhoods, communities and avenues we live in. Tell them about our other great recreational activities and offerings and invite them to come spend some more time in our community and spend some money while they are here.

There is a great story about a preacher and a farmer I like to share with people to help them understand the need to promote themselves and promote what their businesses and organizations are doing. We may not always have a large crowd listening or engaged in what we are selling, but one sell is one more than no sells. Hopefully this story will spur your selling spirit!

The story goes something like this:

An old hill farmer trudges several miles through freezing snow to his local and very remote chapel for Sunday service. No one else is there, aside from the preacher.

"I'm not sure it's worth proceeding with the service - might we do better to go back to our warm homes and have a hot drink?.." asks the clergyman, inviting a mutually helpful reaction from his audience of one.

"Well, I'm just a simple farmer," says the old man, "But when I go to feed my herd, and if only one beast turns up, I sure don't leave it hungry."

So the clergyman, feeling somewhat ashamed, delivers his service - all the bells and whistles, hymns and readings, lasting a good couple of hours - finishing proudly with the fresh observation that no matter how small the need, our duty remains. And he thanks the old farmer for the lesson he has learned.

"Was that okay?" asks the preacher, as the two set off for home.

"Well I'm just a simple farmer," says the old man, "But when I go to feed my herd, and if only one beast turns up, I sure don't force it to eat what I brought for the whole herd..."

The World Series will be a great time for our community to “feed the herd”. It’s going to be a little crowded, it’s going to be a little tense, but I know we will handle it with hospitality, grace and a smile. And if we do, our visitors will love Jones County as much as we all do and our community will be better because of it!

I hope you get to enjoy some great baseball. See you in the stands!

I’d like to take a personal point of privilege and say thank you to all of you in the community who welcomed our new son Noah into the world. I can’t say enough good things about all of you and I can’t say enough about the exceptional service of all those in the South Central Regional Medical Center family. Our stay was enjoyable and the care was exceptional and second to none. From Rebekah, Ethan, Noah and myself, I thank all of you for thinking of us during this joyous time.

---* This article was originally printed in the Sunday, July 28, 2013 issue of The Chronicle's "Planting Seeds" column.

The Builder

“I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit.”

~John F. Kennedy

I recently was afforded the opportunity to spend another week in Athens, Georgia for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce’s Institute for Organizational Management program. This was my third year to attend of my four year certification.

While attending Institute, I am able to interact and learn from respected practitioners, consultants, facilitators and peers who are Chamber of Commerce and Association Executives from all over the country. This year there were even a few international participants that attended.

This program is great for those of us in the Chamber of Commerce profession and for those in community and economic development. It is amazing to be able to share Jones County’s story with people all over the country and to be able to learn about their communities, gather ideas and discover ways to add value to the things we offer here at home.

In addition to the very practical application of knowledge I learn while I am at Institute. It is also very rewarding to develop a deeper relationship with friends and colleagues who are as passionate about their community as I am about Jones County.

Whether you are in the business of Economic Development, Community Development, Chamber of Commerce, Main Street or a host of other organizations; when you are helping to create jobs and grow the community for the better, the people leading these efforts are very motivated by the work they do and they are very passionate about the differences they make. The ups and downs, the wins and losses and the successes we enjoy as a community affect us all greatly on a personal level. It is something very special to be surrounded by these like minded people.

One of my favorite moments of Institute each year is graduation night. During the graduation ceremony the fourth year elects two members to recap their experiences and leave a charge to the following classes. This year’s charge was as special as the years before. One selection in particular has stuck with me and the words spoken keep coming back in my mind again and again.

In his monologue, Randy Vivian, the President and CEO of the Victoria Chamber of Commerce in Victoria, Texas shared a passionate poem from memory. Without a single note and very few dry eyes in the crowd, Randy reminded us of our charge as professionals to be builders, not destroyers. As leaders of the community we are charged with laying the foundations so that others may realize their dreams. It is through the work we do today that builds a path so that future generations can realize the success needed to carry our legacy forward. You are a part of that legacy. You are a part of that leadership.

Each of us has a decision to make about our role in the community. I want to leave you with the poem Randy inspired us with, but as you read the words; I encourage you to make a choice. Which person will you be? Will you help to lay the foundation for others, or will you tear down what has been created? One way leads toward the path of success for our community, the other does not.

Today is a great day in Jones County. It is the best day for us to all start working toward a common goal and a bright future for the next chapter in our history. Won’t you join us and help lay a foundation (or two)? I am sure that if you do, your reward will be great and our community will be much better off because you did.

THE BUILDER

“I saw them tearing a building down
A team of men in my hometown. With a heave and a ho and a yes yes yell, they swung a beam and a sidewall fell.
‘Like the ones you'd use if you had to build?’
And he laughed and said, ‘Oh no, indeed...
the most common labor is all I need...
what takes a builder ten years to do.’
Which one of these roles am I willing to play?
Am I one who is tearing down as I carelessly make my way around?
Or am I one who builds with care, in order to make the world a
little better... because I was there?”

And I said to the foreman, ‘Are these men skilled?’

for I can destroy in a day or two

So I thought to myself as I went on my way...

---* This article was originally printed in the Sunday, July 7, 2013 issue of The Chronicle's "Planting Seeds" column.

It Pays To Pluck Chickens

A friend of mine recently sent me a story I’d like to share with you.

“Jesse was a chicken plucker. That's right. He stood on a line in a chicken factory and spent his days pulling the feathers off chickens so the rest of us wouldn't have to.

 It wasn't much of a job. But at the time, Jesse didn't think he was much of a person.

His father was a brute of a man. His dad was actually thought to be mentally ill and treated Jesse pretty rough all of his life. Jesse's older brother wasn't much better. He was always picking on Jesse and beating him up. Yes, Jesse grew up in a very rough home in West Virginia.  Life was anything but easy.

And he thought life didn't hold much hope for him. That's why he was standing in the chicken line, doing a job that darn few people wanted.

In addition to all the rough treatment at home, it seems that Jesse was always sick. Sometimes it was real physical illness, but way too often it was all in his head. He was a small child, skinny and meek.

That sure didn't help the situation any. When he started to school, he was the object of every bully on the playground. He was a hypochondriac of the first order. For Jesse, tomorrow was not always something he looked forward to.

When he got old enough, he joined the military. And even though many of his hypochondriac symptoms persisted, the military did recognize his talents and put him in the entertainment corp. That was when his world changed. He gained confidence.

When he got old enough, he joined the military. And even though many of his hypochondriac symptoms persisted, the military did recognize his talents and put him in the entertainment corp. That was when his world changed. He gained confidence.

You know, folks, the history books are full of people who overcame a handicap to go on and make a success of themselves, but Jesse is one of the few I know of who didn't overcome it.  Instead he used his paranoia to make a million dollars and become one of the best-loved characters of all time in doing it!

Yes, that little paranoid hypochondriac, who transferred his nervousness into a successful career, still holds the record for the most Emmy's given in a single category. 

You know, folks, the history books are full of people who overcame a handicap to go on and make a success of themselves, but Jesse is one of the few I know of who didn't overcome it.  Instead he used his paranoia to make a million dollars and become one of the best-loved characters of all time in doing it!

Yes, that little paranoid hypochondriac, who transferred his nervousness into a successful career, still holds the record for the most Emmy's given in a single category. 

Yes, that little paranoid hypochondriac, who transferred his nervousness into a successful career, still holds the record for the most Emmy's given in a single category.

But, he had dreams. He wanted to be a ventriloquist. He found books on ventriloquism. He practiced with sock puppets and saved his hard earned dollars until he could get a real ventriloquist dummy.

He found that he had a talent for making people laugh, and laugh so hard they often had tears in their eyes. Yes, little Jesse had found himself.

The wonderful, gifted, talented, and nervous comedian who brought us Barney Fife was…

 Jesse Don Knotts”

How many truly talented people do we have in our community standing in chicken lines? Sweeping our floors? Bagging our groceries or answering our phones? Do you know what their dreams are? Do you know what they are afraid of? Is there someone you can think of right now that you could ask today “how can I help you”?

Who knows, you may be the link that lights a fire under Jones County’s next shining star. Take the time to get to know the people around you and those you interact with every day. 

When you invest in others, you will only be blessed with so much more and our community will be better because of it!

Words of Wisdom

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

~Mark Twain

Happy Father’s Day! I hope you are having a great day enjoying friends, family and the fathers in your life. If you are fortunate enough to still have your father in your life, make sure you tell them just how important they are to you.

Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, Grandparent’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Boss’ Day and the like are always difficult days for me. They are supposed to be the one day of the year when you remember to tell that special person just how important they are to you.

Well… I just wasn’t raised that way. I was taught you tell the ones you love just how much they mean to you as often as you can because we never know how long we have to share together.

This has been a great philosophy for me and served me well over the years as I have lost friends and loved ones along the way. I hope my love and respect for my friends and family never goes unspoken.

As I have been preparing for this Father’s Day I have thought a lot about my dad. I know I write a lot about my family but it is because we have always been so close. Even now I speak with my parents almost daily. They always know what is going on with Ethan and they usually know what Rebekah and I are up to. I still use them for sounding boards of ideas of things I am thinking of pursuing and I am always looking to them for advice; especially from my dad.

I think daddy really likes giving advice, although he never just comes out and says what is on his mind. Some of my favorites he has given me over the years are: “Bad company corrupts good morals”, “Lay down with the dogs and you wake up with fleas”, “Nothing good happens after midnight” – (and for my family members who will read this story online, you don’t need to comment on that story), “You can’t soar with the eagles if you stay out with the owls”, “Keep it between the ditches” and many, many more.

My favorite advice I’ve gotten from my dad was the day we had “The Talk”. We were riding back to town from our cabin across the levee on the river. He said, “I want to talk to you about something” – as he sometimes did. I said, “Okay”. He turned the radio down and said, “Son, keep your pencil in your pocket.” There was a moment of silence. Then he said, “You understand?” I said “Yes sir” he turned up the radio and we never spoke about it again. – Of course now we laugh about it all the time.

Fathers are good for giving advice, they are good for teaching life lessons and they are good for helping us grow to better ourselves and those around us. As I am preparing to raise two little boys in the coming weeks (Noah is expected to arrive in July), I read a lot of articles and blogs online to help me be a better father and raise our children the way Rebekah and I were raised. I heard this great story the other day. I hope it helps you too.

There once was a little boy who had a short temper. His father decided to teach him a lesson by giving him a bag of nails and telling him that every time he lost his temper he was required to hammer one nail into the backyard fence.

Over the next several weeks the little boy had driven in 47 nails! As the weeks progressed he was driving in fewer and fewer nails as he learned to control his temper.

Eventually the boy had learned how to control his temper most of the time. His father was proud and suggested that he pull out one nail for every day that he had completely controlled his temper.

Many days had passed when the boy went to tell his father that all of the nails were gone.

The wise father took his son by the hand and they walked to the fence. He said, “Great job son, you have done really well, and I am very proud of you! But I want you to notice the holes. This fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, you leave a scar just like you have left in this fence.”

From that day forward the boy was determined never to lose his temper again.

Great fathers know how to allow us to learn without having to spell out everything we need to hear. Just like the lesson this little boy learned from his father, I have learned many lessons from my father. I am still learning from him.

I sincerely hope that you have a father or a father figure in your life who constantly challenges you, loves you and teaches you. If you are the result of having a father teach you to be a better person, repay the favor. Teach your children, teach the kids in your neighborhood, teach the kids in your church and in your community. Let’s be a community of positive role models who build each other up and grow the next generation better. I am sure that if you take the time to invest in others, our whole community will be better because of it! I know it will!

Love you pop!

---* This article was originally printed in the Sunday, June 16, 2013 issue of The Chronicle's "Planting Seeds" column.

Our Members Are Good For Nothing

Wait, wait, wait… before you pick up the phone to call or start to fire off a nasty email, hear me out.

I was in church… that’s right, I said church… when my pastor, Mike, shared this nugget of wisdom with me. Mike was talking about how he, as the pastor, gets paid to be good (figuratively) and we as the congregation have to be good for free, with no compensation. Hence, our members are good for nothing!

Now I realize, and I hope you do too, that Mike was just joking. He does not think that just because he gets paid to be the pastor that it means he is any better than anyone else or that he is any less a sinner than any of the rest of us. (Sorry Mike). But this story is not about Mike. This story is about you, our Chamber members.

The reason why his statement resonated with me so much is because the same could be said of you our members and of our community. I guess you could say that I as the Chamber Director get paid to be good and am paid to be the cheerleader of the community. But you, however, don’t necessarily have to be good. But you are. And you are in such a way that the effects of your good behavior, your generosity, your hospitality and your love of this place called Jones County is seen and witnessed all throughout the state and throughout the southeast.

I can’t tell you what a joy it is for me as I travel to different parts of our state or to our region of the Southeastern part of the country and hear people exclaim, “Oh, you’re from Laurel? I love Laurel. You have a great museum!” Or to hear them talk about our quaint downtowns, Landrum’s Country, Boga Homa Lake, watching their kids play baseball at the Sportsplex, swim at the Natatorium, play a round of golf on “one of the toughest courses” they have ever played, or they have enjoyed some of our beautiful parks during family gatherings or other events.

In addition to having been to Laurel, many either are from Jones County, lived in Jones County, know someone in Jones County or have known someone from here. There used to be a popular theory called six degrees of separation in which it was stated “that everyone and everything is six or fewer steps away, by way of introduction, from any other person in the world, so that a chain of ‘a friend of a friend’ statements can be made to connect any two people in a maximum of six steps.” Of course in the South, and more specifically in the case of Mississippi, I think we can change that theory to “two steps away from ya’ mamma and them”.

But my initial statement stands true; it’s because of you and your love for this place we call home, that people know about Jones County. We don’t say it enough to each other, but THANK YOU. Thank you for promoting our community. People are hearing about all the good things taking place in Jones County. People are interested and people want to come see what we have to offer. It’s because of you.

So I would like to leave you with this final charge. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep telling people about our local restaurants. Keep telling them about our new and unique shopping opportunities. Keep telling them about our cultural attractions and the historical significance Jones County has played in the development of our state. Tell them about our robust and thriving economy. Tell them about our schools. Tell them about our events.

But, don’t just tell them… invite them to join in the fun! Together, if we continue to share our message, others will come to experience our hospitality and how great Jones County is. They will come and they will love it too. Then they will help us share our story with others and our community will be even better because of it! We have a lot of great things happening in Jones County, but I know the best is yet to come!

PS – Now if you want to call me out on my title, go ahead.  – I deserve it.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

"Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest, Sun, moon and stars in their courses above, join with all nature in manifold witness to Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Morning by morning new mercies I see; all I have needed Thy hand hath provided, great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!”

~Thomas O. Chisholm 

This past Monday I had the bittersweet pleasure of returning home to the Mississippi Delta. It was bittersweet because we laid my great aunt, Amelia Turpin Beckham, to rest. She was the last of my grandmother's four siblings to pass. She lived to be 100 years old, born in Shaw, MS in 1913. She, along with my grandmother's other siblings taught our family about faith, family, love, togetherness and what to do in times of uncertainty; turn to God and turn to your family; everything else will come out in the wash. Amelia is survived by her two children, seven grandchildren, seventeen great grandchildren and six great great grandchildren.

As sad as the occasion was to return, I love going to the Delta. I know it sounds strange to most, but to me, the Mississippi Delta is home. Just as people from all over Mississippi love the Gulf Coast, Pinebelt or other parts of our beautiful state, I love the endless rows of cotton and beans, the heat, the smells and the "flatlands". My mother is a fanatic for red clay dirt, rolling hills and pine needless from when she grew up in Quitman on the boarders of Clarke County. (She is a Shirley, if you’re wondering.)

Instilled in him from his mother, daddy taught us to understand family is not simply belonging to a group of people; it is belonging to a place. From the time I was a little boy my daddy always taught me about HIS home, the Delta. When we would take trips out of town whether near or far, he would always build the excitement for when we returned home. Even now when I return to the Delta, when I hit the bridge over the Yazoo River just north of Yazoo City or come around the last hill from highway 82 just outside of Greenwood, when I see that flat dirt and miles and miles of fields, I know that I am home. My emotions get a mix of the excitement of Christmas morning, family gatherings and holding on to a loved one that you haven’t seen in a long, long time.

As I drove through the small Delta towns I have known all my life and relived many of the experiences of my childhood, I thought a lot about how things have changed in the few years that I have been away. Mississippi, and the Delta, is a very unique place. For all the change and progress we have made, we have also remained magically the same. There is a romance to a place like Mississippi that you don’t find anywhere else. We’ve held on to who we are, we cherish our foundation, we cherish our memories, we love our families, we love our churches, we lift up our heroes – both big name and small town, we nurture our children and we leave lasting legacies.

It was very interesting and gratifying that in my great aunt’s eulogy the minister said that if he had one word to use to describe Mrs. Amelia, it would be faithfulness. She was faithful to her God. She was faithful to her family and she was faithful to her friends. Aunt Amelia saw many things change in the course of 100 years but the thing that remained the same was that she was faithful to her values and faithful to her family, friends and community.

As I look at my own life and the two boys Rebekah and I will soon be raising to be gentlemen and valuable members of society, I have to take a long look at what am I faithful to? What is my legacy? What things am I purposefully teaching them? What am I teaching them that I don’t know I am teaching them? Will they love their family the way I love mine? Will they love their church? Will they love their community? Will they take after their grandmother (Gin Gin) and love the red clay dirt, rolling hills and pine needles?  I have to make a conscious decision to be faithful to them in what I teach them and demonstrate to them so that they will get the most out of life. I want them to get the most out of their experiences, their friendships and their community.

What about you? If you were to make it to 100 years, what will be said at your eulogy? What is your legacy? Is faithful the word that would be used to describe you? I hope so. I hope that it will be said of each of you reading this article that you were great men and women of faith, devoted to your church, devoted to your family, devoted to your community and devoted to the betterment of your fellow man.

Just as the farmers in the Delta plant seeds and then remain diligently faithful to them to nurture them and see that those plants grow to their full potential so that another will get the full benefit from all the crop yields, I hope you too are planting seeds of faithfulness in our community and being diligent in the nurture of others. I know that if you are, our community will see bumper crop yields time and time again.

---* This article was originally printed in the Sunday, May 26, 2013 issue of The Chronicle's "Planting Seeds" column.